Plunged into shock

 

          News of the passing of a loved one instantly propels a person into shock. Shock is the sudden impact that provides emotional protection from being completely overwhelmed.

          During the First World War era people were sent telegrams to convey important messages. If there was a black line through the window of the envelope containing the telegram, it included bad news. One morning my dear Nana received a telegram, and drawn on the envelope was that dreaded black line. She instantly knew her new husband and father of her new baby would not be coming home from the war. I was told that she fainted on the doorstep.

          When she heard that her husband had been involved in a serious accident and he wasn’t expected to survive, Wendy said, ‘My heart began to pound, my head began to pulsate, my hands began to sweat and my legs became like jelly under me. As I stumbled to my car, my head spinning, I said over and over, “Lord, I’m not strong enough for this.”’

          Fran’s first reaction was that there had been some terrible mistake. She couldn’t believe her Dad had gone. She tried to rationalise that it was all a bad dream and soon she would wake up and everything would be back to normal.

         Dianna wrote, “Today someone I loved died. I can’t believe it. I don’t believe it. I won’t believe it. Family comes. Friends come. The phone keeps ringing. The doorbell rings again and again. The ringing seems far away. I hear it, but I seem unable to answer. My legs won’t move. My feet won’t move. I am glued to the chair.”

          Everyone commented on what a strong woman Tegan was as she seemed to be coping extremely well after the loss of her son. She appeared very serene. The reality of the tragedy hadn’t sunk in.

          When Ray was informed his wife was fading, he kept a bedside vigil for the days leading up to her passing. When the time came when she slipped away he was overwhelmed with a sense of both relief and incredible sadness. He became numb emotionally and went through the motions of grief in an almost disconnected manner. 

          Notice how they all responded differently. There is no right or wrong way to react to shock.

          You may have attended funerals where people close to the deceased appear calm and serene. No doubt they are experiencing a sense of peace by being supported by prayers and loving thoughts but it is also a sign that they are still in a state of shock and the reality of their loss has not yet hit them.

          As you would have already noticed in the examples mentioned above, there are a number of responses people have when they have received a shock. 

 

Some of the responses to shock are:

         

          Numbness                      

Stunned

Emotional outburst

          Bewilderment                          

Disorientation

          Calmness                       

          Obliviousness

          Dazed                                       

          Disbelief

          Rational                         

          Confused

Relief                              

Denial

          Hysteria

 

          Some people will shake, some will sit down and cover their face with their hands, while others may faint, as my grandmother did. Some people burst into tears, while others are stunned and are completely void of all emotion. One lady said she felt sick. Michael Jackson’s mother said she screamed and then passed out. All of these reactions are the body’s way of providing a temporary buffer to prevent facing the harsh reality of a profound loss.

          After finding that neighbours had burnt to death in the horrendous Black Saturday bush fires in Victoria in 2009, one resident noted that people were walking around dazed and some with their hands clasps at the back of their heads.

           I remember seeing the raw footage of people in the vicinity of the event after the Twin Towers fell on September 11, 2001, and noticed they were all exhibiting some form of shock. Some were puffing and panting as they spoke, others had wide eyes, and some were shaking their heads in disbelief. Others were walking aimlessly with no idea where they were going.

          There are varying levels of shock. For example the shock experienced by a woman who discovers her son’s body after he has taken his life will be far more intense than the shock of hearing the news that an elderly, ailing great aunt has passed on.

          You may have already found that adrenalin has kicked in and you have been managing on autopilot. All too soon the reality of your sad loss will hit you and you will need to brace yourself for the intensity of grief and the emotions associated with it.