Always in my Heart 

Children's Bereavement Program

Ages 4-12. Groups between 1-5 children.

 

In the past adults have tried to shield children from facing the reality that a

loved one has passed away. These days we know that it’s important that we

tell children the truth and help them process their grief. After the loss of a

loved one, a child may feel frightened and insecure. They need caring adults

to help them process their grief, as they adapt to life without their loved one.

This 5 session program (1 hour each session) has been designed to encourage

communication between the child(ren) and the facilitator. The workbook,

‘Always in my Heart’ accompanies this program. The creator of the program

and facilitator of these sessions, Bereavement Consultant Del Marie McAlister

has a current Working with Children’s Check with the office of the NSW

Guardian.

 

 Session 1 Changes

 

Workbook: We begin with an introduction to a little girl named Katie, who has

lost her Nanny. Her story is interwoven throughout the workbook. Each child

will write their name and draw a picture of themselves in their workbook to

remind them that this program is personally for them. We then do some

activity pages that address the concept of change to help a child understand

that things in life never stay the same and change is inevitable. The following

two pages acknowledge the fact that the passing away of their loved one has caused a huge change to their lives. Throughout this time the facilitator will encourage guided conversations with the children asking questions like, “What are the changes that have happened in your life?” and will gently ask questions about their relationship with that person etc.

 

Story time: The facilitator reads two story books to the child(ren) on the topic of losing someone they love.

 

Journaling: We then turn to the back of the workbooks where the child can draw pictures and / or do some journaling.

 

Session 2 Wishes      

                                             

Workbook: A young child can sometimes live in a world of make-believe. Some will identify with the   desire to ‘being them back’ and the ‘happily ever after’ fairy tale ending we discuss as we do these pages in the workbook. One page addresses the denial and / or disbelief some children feel. Throughout this session the facilitator will be guiding the conversation in keeping with the theme. We then discuss the ‘if-onlys’ and ‘what-ifs’ will help a child understand that any remorse they feel is perfectly normal. This gives them an opportunity to talk about their regrets with the facilitator.

 

Game: To lighten the mood, the facilitator will play a couple of games with the child(ren).

 

Workbook: The facilitator will then help the child(ren) understand that it is okay to ask questions.There are two pages to complete on this theme.

 

Journaling: We then turn to the back of the workbooks where the child can draw pictures and / or do some journaling.

 

Session 3 Feelings                                                       

 

Workbook: These pages will help each child discover his or her feelings and also help them to

understand that their feelings are okay. They are designed to give children the opportunity to

express their feelings. Throughout this time the facilitator will encourage guided conversations

with the children asking questions about their feelings and explaining that these feelings are normal.

 

Special guest appearance: Bella the Bereavement Bear will visit the child(ren) to discuss their

feelings. She will make some suggestions of what they can so when they feel sad or worried

etc. She will help them complete the following two pages and gift each child with their own

bereavement bear.

 

Journaling: We then turn to the back of the workbooks where the child can draw pictures and

/ or do some journaling.

 

Session 4 Support

 

Workbook: The facilitator talks about people who support Katie. She suggests family members, friends, teachers etc. The discussions then focus on the child(ren) in the session, and the children can, under the guidance of the facilitator talk about their support networks.                                                  

 

Play therapy: The facilitator will introduce the child(ren) to her puppets: Polly the Parrot, Ken the Kangaroo, Kelly the Koala, Peter the Platypus and  Wendy the Wise Owl. The child(ren) can create their own stories with these puppets, after the facilitator has explained that one of them has lost a close friend. The facilitator will guide the ‘play’ into how each of the puppets can care for the sad one.

 

Journaling: We then turn to the back of the workbooks where the child can draw pictures and / or do some journaling.

 

Session 5 Memories                                                 

 

Workbook: These pages are to help each child remember the happy times he or she had with his or her loved one. Making cupcakes is something that relates to something fun Katie did with her Nanny. It’s important bereaved children remain connected to their loved one by remembering happy times together. I do not believe in forcing a child to say “goodbye” or ‘letting go’ of a loved one. Instead we need to encourage them to discover a way of keeping that person close. This is why I promote the lovely idea of keeping our loved one's memory tucked in our hearts. The last two pages are to remind the child to keep on enjoying their lives, because that’s what their loved one would want them to do:

 

Craft: create a memory box

 

Journaling: We then turn to the back of the workbooks where the child can draw pictures and / or do some journaling, and write a letter to their loved one.